The Stones Of Venice Private Tour
is your expanded odyssey through 1000 years of art, history, & genius.
With your tour dates solely your own
—no outsiders, no tourists, no strangers—
it's just you and Venice, with a novelist as your tour guide.
And as well as the 2 mornings of the regular tour, your private tour will take you on one of 3 exquisite Venetian excursions.
You get to decide how you'd like to augment your Venetian experience,
with a choice of one of the following afternoons:
THE ACCADEMIA GALLERY
Venice's best & largest art gallery, you'll spend an afternoon in the company of Bellini triptychs, Carpaccio cycles, Vivarini altarpieces, Veronese heresies, Tiepolo ceilings, Guardi cityscapes & Bosch monsters—all the while discovering what makes Venetian art so unique.
An atmospheric and almost-abandoned island, Torcello has Venice's oldest (and most splendid) Byzantine mosaics & her oldest church (built in the 9th century!).
A 15-minute boat ride from Venice, it's also where Hemingway wrote and set Across the River and Into the Trees.
Venice's greatest artistic genius & creative rebel, you'll visit the neighbourhood in which Tintoretto lived & worked & his parish church, to see 3 of his greatest canvases.
As well, I'll show you some of his lesser-known paintings & impart to you all that I know of this mysterious man's unique genius.
– 1 PERSON –
Ready to explore 1000 years of art, history, & genius with a novelist & playwright as your Venetian guide?
– or –
in two instalments
– 2 PEOPLE –
You and your bestie, your beloved, your brother...
In the company of another, save £160 on the price of your private tour.
– or –
in two instalments
– 3 OR MORE –
Bring thy private retinue
And save over over £240 each off the price of your private tour.
– or –
in two instalments
Bring thy retinue to Venice!
Please do email me at
to confirm your desired dates & I shall mark them on the calendar
and they will be yours and yours alone!
You'll shortly thereafter receive an email with detailed information on
getting to Venice, getting around in Venice, & on where to stay while you're there.
But most importantly,
YOU, ARE GOING
Terms & Conditions:
1. If a deposit is paid, full payment must be made by August 6th 2018.
2. I deleted the second term and/or condition and couldn’t be bothered changing all the numbers, so… welcome to the second term and/or condition. Isn’t she darling?
3. Refund policy:
3.1 Deposits are non-refundable. 50% of any fully-paid booking is non-refundable.
3.2 Should you cancel your tour after August 6th 2018, a 25% refund will be given.
4. The last two sound rather Draconian, I know. But, living in Vietnam as I do, I travel half way across the world to run the tour. Plus, The Stones Of Venice is going to blow your mind. Only a fool would cancel.
5. Due to renovations, feast days, funerals, visits by George Clooney, or other religious occasions or extenuating circumstances, certain churches or museums normally included on the tour may be closed on your selected dates. Every effort shall be made to provide a suitably enlightening alternative. Extreme weather conditions—such as acqua alta—may necessitate the cancellation, delay, or alteration of any tour on any date. In such cases a rescheduling may be agreed to or a refund of 50% may be given.
6. If Donald Trump causes the cancellation of your tour I shall give you a 75% refund.
7. This term and/or condition didn’t apply this year, and again it was easier to write this than delete it and change all the numbers. Welcome to the 7th term and/or condition!
8. Tour dates ARE transferrable between dates and humans. Transfers are subject to availability and at the discretion of Joshua Humphreys. If you do wish to transfer your tour to another person, please ensure that they are more delightful than or at least as delightful as you are. Any attempt to transfer your tour to an undelightful person will incur severe reproach.
9. The tour starts each morning at sunrise. This is done to maximise your enjoyment of your time Venice—you shall practically have the most beautiful city in the world to yourself. Start times are not negotiable. If you are unreasonably late to your tour I reserve the right to begin without thee, and to entreat you to catch up when arrive you eventually do.
10. Your actions, movement, and personal safety on The Stones Of Venice Tour are your own responsibility. You release Joshua Humphreys and all other tour participants individually and collectively from any liability. If you have any health conditions or ongoing injuries that I need to be aware of, please write to me in advance. Please try not to have rabies. If you are afraid of bridges, please think carefully about coming to Venice. Venice has a lot of bridges. If you are in any way frightened of gondoliers, you might also want to reconsider your trip.
11. Though I do intend on doing most of the talking, I strive for the tour to be an open and safe forum for intellectual discussion. I reserve the right to refuse anyone I feel may impede the flow, content, or utter delightfulness of the tour, and to respectfully ask anyone to shoosh should that space be compromised.
12. By agreeing to these Terms & Conditions you release Joshua Humphreys from any and all claims, liability, cause of action, damages or costs for personal injury or property damage that fall under your responsibility and are unrelated to the service offered. Not really sure what that means, but it sounds SERIOUS.
13. Now let’s go to Venice!
© Joshua Humphreys, The Stones Of Venice Tour, 2018.